April Fools 2019 in Motorcycling

In Blog by AbhiLeave a Comment

It’s April Fools Day, which means there’s going to be a couple of fake news stories that are good for a laugh or a cringe. In alphabetical order, here’s everything I could find in terms of April Fools stories this year from our favorite brands in US motorcycling:

If you find something I missed, please let me know in the comments and I’ll add it here!

Aerostich: Tactical Vehicle Repellent. “Before you almost get killed by some inattentive driver, draw this compact problem solver and send a stream of military grade auto-stopping awesomeness in their direction. A proprietary harmless-to-people nano-infused formula enters the target vehicle’s air intake putting it temporarily into ‘limp mode’…Contains walnut.”

Asphalt and Rubber: MSMA Solves Aero Crisis by Splitting MotoGP Class in Two.
“The proposal, which is yet to be put to the Grand Prix Commission, would see the MotoGP championship split into two, the class running twice, both with and without aerodynamic fairings.

From next year, if the proposal is approved, MotoGP will host two races each Sunday: one for the MotoGP Aero Championship, and one for the MotoGP Plain Championship.”

BMW Motorrad: BMW’s put out a press release this morning about how you can “achieve lap times like the professionals with autonomous drive programs”:

“And with the iRace Kit, BMW Motorrad is taking things a step further with this software system for the S 1000 RR that allows less experienced riders and even those who have just received their motorcycle licences to turn in an astounding performance on the race track, with the assistance of a number of autonomous riding programs.”

Cardo: “Summer is coming, and we got you covered! No more bad helmet odor!”

Giant Loop Bags: “Introducing the kRäte! Featuring the all new M.l.L.K System it is 100% breathable, sturdy, waterproof and shockproof. Get yours today!”

RideApart: Harley Announces Livewire To Offer Customizable Note Option
“e company confirmed that the model will come equipped with a customizable note function and a variety of engine sounds to choose from, accessible via the onboard computer.

The system will use a compact “engine sound system” that will use two speakers located on the tail of the bike to produce the artificial engine sound. The system will be synched with the throttle input, which means the bike will mimic the sound of an engine at idle and increase the “revolutions” as soon as the throttle is twisted.”

Triumph Motorcycles: While the Rocket TFC is very real, the “Rocket Mode Thrusters accessory” is sadly not:

Ultimate Motorcycling: Valentino Rossi to Receive M.D. | The Doctor to Become a Real Doctor
“Nine-time World Champion Valentino Rossi is set to receive his first degree from the University of Bologna, making his nickname of “The Doctor” carry much more weight.

Unlike most ecclesiastical honorary degrees given to highlight achievements in a given field – Rossi’s M.D. will carry the full weight and respect of any other medical professional, allowing Valentino Rossi to participate in residency programs, eventually becoming a physician.”

Upshift Magazine: “Husqvarna announces all new adventure bike to their lineup. The SKOJAR 801.”

Utah. Yes, the state of Utah: they suggested that you “drive the speed limit for once”. This was originally shared on Reddit.

West End Motorsports: This dealership in Brodheadsville, Pennsylvania got in on the action with a great gag about custom helmets:

Wiseco: “Tired of that low-power, low-compression engine? Wiseco’s new “Compression in a Can” is the solution you’ve been waiting for!”