One of the wonderful recent additions to the comments section here at Bike-urious has been a gentleman by the name of Kurt Bartlein (who goes by Starmag). I’ve enjoyed his perspectives and while we’ve been chatting he mentioned that he had written a story about one of his bikes. After reading it, I figured you all would enjoy it as well…so enjoy!
He’s got excellent fashion sense!
Guest Story Intermission – The Gift That Keeps On Taking
by Kurt Bartlein
A long, long time ago, in a far away mystical land known for beer and cheese, I bought a pristine, one year old black and orange 1982 Honda CB900F Super Sport with 2,000 or so pampered miles. I of course wanted a red CBX but from the moths flying out of my checkbook one could tell that wasn’t going to happen.
I was still licking my wounds that had been inflicted by a not-so-dearly-departed bone-stock blue metal-flake 1974 Norton 850 Commando that I had been talked into by the likes of Peter Egan and his ilk. The beauty! The torque! The smoothness! The handling! Etc! Don’t get me wrong, I love my fellow Cheesehead, but I have to agree with John Burns that he has a sad weakness for “charming” motos, (unreliable dreck?), from the “Prince Of Darkness” era of British moto-manufacturing. I think he may be cured of Nortons now though. It only took one to cure me, but with Egan it took about five, the last of which almost killed him.
Curse thee, O Prince Of Darkness
Anyway, I found that I could actually count on the Honda to get me places and back reliably. Quoting Egan, “It’s a fine thing to leave on a Norton, an even finer thing to return on one“. Not only was my respect for Soichiro Honda growing daily, to the point that I began to believe that an industrialist might actually respect me, (genuinely shocking, I know), but I fell in love with the bike. It had about 80 RWHP and weighed a somewhat porky 570lb wet, but could still crank out a 12 second flat quarter mile with some bantam-weight throttle jockey like Pee Wee Gleason thrashing it. It was silky-smooth, had a great seat, and an amazing sounding engine (even with the stock exhaust) that liked to sing to it’s 10,000 RPM red line. I thought it had beautiful styling, plenty of ground clearance, (with the optional Honda rear sets), dual piston caliper brakes, and handled great on the street with it’s adjustable-dampening remote-reservoir FVQ (Fades Very Quickly) shocks and “huge” 38mm (lol) front fork that were considered cutting-edge at the time.
The one that started it all
Why did I sell it you ask? It was time for me to Get Out Of Dodge, (Milwaukee), and get the lay of the land with a moving van. Sadly, you can’t keep them all. Well, some people can, (have you seen those guys with a large backyard completely filled with something like all Chrysler K-cars? lol.), but not me.
Fast forward a score or more joy rides around the sun. My better half, who is a tad frugal, (a better choice than a therapy shopper), offers to buy me a motorcycle for my birthday! How fun! Thanks baby! She then informs me “As long as it doesn’t cost more than $1,500”. (Insert Debbie Downer sound effects here). I knew there had to be a catch. I took my slightly limp joy directly to Craigslist without much hope for success, but there it was! It’s just as well that the wife didn’t know that it was an old flame I still had a thing for.
For Sale 1982 Honda CB900F $1,700
All stock. Silver with blue stripes, factory rearsets, 7,500 mi.
Only used by a little old lady on Sundays for vintage Superbike racing.
Needs nothing but a new racer, er, rider.
Unbelievable I thought. Too good to be true. I quickly called the owner and he directed me to his home nearby. I arrived and a nice gentleman of about 65 years old rolls it out of the garage for me. Words other than “cherry” or “mint” cross my mind. All stock and not too bad I guess, but there’s oil company stickers on the gas tank, the engine paint is falling off, the tires look like they are from 1983, etc. I take it for a quick spin and it’s obvious that the low speed jets in the carbs are plugged because there is nothing below 6,000 RPM. This apparently happened long ago, because to get going with it like that, one had to slip the clutch a lot, and now the clutch was toast. Being a professional motorcycle mechanic with some experience when I was younger, (and didn’t mind the tyranny of a flat rate book), I thought to myself, these things can be easily and cheaply fixed. Who doesn’t lie to themselves a bit when they are enthralled? I told the owner that I would be interested in buying it if he would take $1,500. He told me that he had turned down the last tire-kicker’s offer of, you guessed it, $1,500. I said “well, you wouldn’t want to do that again”. He looked at me and chuckled a bit and said he’d take $1,550. Sold. Pay the man Honey.
Well, even though it’s a Honda, which one expects to be durable and reliable, I of course had to replace almost everything rubber and electrical as well as fork springs, tires, and clutch. Carefully repaint the engine with hi-temp black. Carefully remove the tank stickers, etc.
At first we started off a little rocky
It’s now reliable and beautiful again. I keep it garaged outside Asheville, NC as my Blue Ridge Parkway Express, which it stylishly excels at.
Now I get high from our relationship. 4995 feet high to be exact.
You may wish to remember this story to temper your enthusiasm if you ever go to look at an old classic. Bringing it back from the dead or even a resuscitation will be more than you think it will be. How much did I have to put into it you ask? You ask a lot of questions.
$1,500 and an endless stream of my own free labor. Not too bad really and it IS reliable and beautiful again.
Still, I’m not sure I can afford too many more presents like this.